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New year, new…

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2016, new year new you or will we continue to be the same people we were in 2015? 1 more year has passed, another year has come and gone, I feel like I blinked and now I’m here again. I ask you to reflect. Not even about your CrossFit gains or progress but let’s take a look at 2015. What did you like or not like? Did you learn anything? Did you wish you did anything differently? I think new years resolutions are for the birds but maybe 2016 will be different. I hope my pursuit for beautiful memories and experiences doesn’t let up and if I can ask for one thing in this life is that I can look back and laugh. I think at the end of the day if we can laugh or if our life and the people in it can bring us laughter we’re at least doing something right. If I can take one moment to thank my circle of friends, actually let me re-phrase, my swirling group of idiot friends for all of the laughter they create in my life – thank you. New Years is funny, people either love it or hate it, stay inside or head to Banff to avoid the city lights. We have the new years “resolutioners” and all gyms pack with people trying to get fit and make change. When I worked as a personal trainer I always gave the resolutioners until Valentines Day and about 75% fell off the ol’ bandwagon. What kills me (and I’m guilty of it too) is that we criticize these people for being those people who make goals and don’t go through with them but at least they tried. At least they gave a damn to make a goal – who cares if it didn’t last, that’s more than I can say for myself. Criticism I hear it all the time, especially with CrossFit. I get it people who do CrossFit have a reputation for talking about CrossFit and get hassled for it, some good and some bad. However it’s an individual’s choice to pursue what sets his or her soul on fire and if that’s CrossFit or whatever it may be let them do that; let it be. Maybe that’s just it, maybe we have to let it be, let things go, let things build, let things do whatever the hell they want to do.

2016, what do you hope for? It could be the exact same thing as 2015 or possibly something different, what can you expect, what can you be surprised with? Questions on questions I know but as I continue to grow I become more and more curious. I take less comfort in the unknown and I don’t want to be in the dark, however such is life to live in the discomfort of the unfamiliar. As if to say I believe there is a fire in each and every one of us and maybe I am looking to know what kind of flame I want it to be; will it be blue, white or red-hot? I guess it depends what we are looking for and how badly we want to chase it. Is it smart to expect the unexpected or problematic, can we be our true selves if we knew at every turn we were going down a one way street? Would you live your life same way if you knew what the end destination was? I think of this question often and I can’t figure out my answer. Being blindsided or feeling things you didn’t expect to feel, to me, have the same weight as knowing what is going to happen just the wrapping is different. Blindsided, one of those gut-wrenching feelings when you feel your heart sweat and stomach flip. Even walking into the box and being blindsided by how difficult a workout was and hadn’t intended it to be when you read it on the whiteboard. Lying on the ground swimming in your own sweat thinking, “I was not expecting that,” is a feeling I like to avoid. But to my dismay it will consistently be something we are forced to feel time and time again…and yet we all still keep coming to workout. Isn’t that something, we come to workout every day or every other day knowing it’s going to hurt, be hard and will consider stopping and walking out the door at least once or twice throughout the week but we continue to pull the front door open. Are we creatures of habit or lunatics looking for pain, you tell me…but probably both.

2016, doesn’t it seem like 2008 was just yesterday? Time moves in mysterious ways and doesn’t stop bringing ease to difficult situations, doesn’t the statement hold so very true, “in time this to shall pass.” I guess time doesn’t necessarily heal but can wrap us up in a cocoon of relief and after a while alleviate our mind of worriment and doubt. What brought us pain back in 2008 most likely doesn’t sting so bad coming into 2016. Time, if you could go back is there anything you would change? I would probably go back and slap myself and ask “what are you thinking?!” However within those thoughts you know you’ve grown. I recently found myself in a situation where you know your heart and your head are in disagreement. Those instances when you know better but you did nothing and continued to feel everything while your head scolded you after. Albert Einstein defines insanity as doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results each time. I forget that in order to change or not be forever blindsided we need to re-route our destinations. Our pursuits for always reaching for something greater are not found by traveling along the same dusty road. May your road always turn left or right and never any U-turns.

“How wild it was to let it be.” – Cheryl Strayed

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